So Hannah and I have just completed the UCI Women's Tour of New Zealand, this is our interpretation of racing with multiple National Champions from around the globe, 6 World Champions, An Olympic Champion and some erratic Italians. We have kept this short since energy is of the essence...
Day one: 7.6km Individual Time Trial
Tips - Know the course, it helps you to have a faster time when you don't turn the wrong way
-If you are first rider to start the TT you will be winning the tour when you finish, if somewhat briefly. So claim the hot seat as quick as you can for all the glory.
Trips -Know how to get to the course venue for the stage
-Know how to get back to where you are staying after the stage, if you don't know at least have snacks. Whining does not make the rain stop, or your stomach full.
Day two: 135km road race (plus 15km neutral)
Tips -Note that neutral will be excluded from total race distance, and will be at random speeds selected by the weight of the drivers' foot, roughly between 45 (downhill) and 55km/h (uphill)
- When you puncture, don't do it after you have been dropped and there are no service vehicles. A 2.5km walk will do nothing for your GC time.
-Eat
Trips -Stay away from the Italians in the neutral, you are not safe there.
-Riding 80kms by yourself is not worth it when the Broom wagon is just 5mins behind you motor-pacing the other dropped riders home.
Day three: 127km (plus 15km neutral)
Tips -When Ashleigh tells you to move up in the peloton, do it. Or you will get pushed and have no choice but to find a gap.
-Note that neutral will be excluded from total race distance, and will be at random speeds selected by the weight of the drivers foot, roughly between 30 (downhill) and 20km/h (uphill). It will at least make Judith Arndt laugh.
-when rolling with an international group of riders into a crosswind, expect to see your speedo at 50+km/h, don't expect to keep your breakfast down.
-Eat
Trips - Stay away from the Italians descending, particularly near sharp rock face, you are not safe there
-Asking a Chinese girl if she wants a bottle in a Chinese accent when she doesn't understand you will not help, it will only offend people.
- Do not joke with the Italians, it will not help, it will only offend people.
Day four: 111km (including a 6km neutral)
Tips - The Chinese lead out train can be taken singlehandley if you have had 4 serves of pasta for dinner the night before, and have only regained contact with the bunch 3km before the sprint, there is a narrow gap between the riders and the cones, and you are in severe crosswinds.
-Learning the Macarena makes for a good mental race prep, and lifts your spirits in a way only rivalled by I'll tell you want I want what I really really want so tell me what you want, what you really really want I'll tell you what I want what I really really want.
Trips -Stay away from the Italians in the echelon, you are not safe there
-If your balls are too high, you won't be able to see them, no matter how tough they are, but at least you'll know that they are there on your top tube.
Day five: 119km (including 6km neutral)
Tips -When a team mate goes up the road, blocking the USA train perfectly makes you look like a seasoned pro.
-The convoy is your friend.
-Accepting a sticky bottle up a climb is acceptable only if you drink from it, even if it is just a sip and then you throw it away.
Trips -Times attacking off the front cancel out times off the back, meaning you can essentially claim to have spend the day with the bunch, despite little time actually being there.
-Stay away from the Italians in the convoy, you are not safe there.
A huge thanks to all those who have helped, supported, guided, cheered, encouraged, challenged and backed us this tour and in our build up over summer. We will miss you, but see you again when we are fluent in Dutch and have the legs of Ina. Bring it on B grade boys; you best train hard over winter!
Don't miss us too much
Hannah and Ash
